Commitment, Commitment, Commitment!

Everywhere I look, everything I hear, everything I read is about being in love and finding or criticizing the lack of a committed relationship. And make no mistake about the concept of committed love we are talking about the marrying kind of love. Rings, preacher, big shindig, kids, house, joint accounts and the traditional "ball and chain"

The funny thing is that these aren’t words coming from the mouths of most men – it’s our sisters who are so lonely, unattached, disappointed and looking for the perfect relationship. And by perfect relationship they are looking for the perfect man.

And maybe that’s where it all starts to fall apart – the "perfect" part. No one is perfect – male or female. I wish I had a dollar for every woman who has told me that she wants a drama free man. Free of any baggage or complications in his life. I’d also like to get a dollar for everyone of the searchers for the holy male grail who has her own personal, sexual, emotional, religious, physical and mental baggage. How can someone who believes in the perfect man be so imperfect herself?

How many women who say their man has to be rich, successful, fine and handsome are working for minimum wage or just a little better than minimum? How many of these women have never been to a gym and have no idea what it takes to go from a size 20 to a 12? How many of these women are so full of meanness that she is so unattractive even though she may be physically beautiful on the outside? How many women are punishing the new man in their life for the decisions she’s made in the past as far as relationships go?

Still every unmarried woman I know is preparing herself for the chase of the ever-illusive Mr. Perfect. From attending every "how to catch a man" convention, to reading every article they can get their hands on to where to look and catch the perfect man. If you don’t believe me check out this months or the last ten months of any of the popular woman’s magazines. The articles in these magazines will tell you how many times you should call a potential beaux in a weeks time, how you should dress on the first few dates, how many dates you should have in the beginning of the courtship, where you should dine and what to order. It will also help you figure out what his "beacon" score is and what range it should fall in before submitting your application. And lets not forget the major rule to enforce, when to give up their "precious jewel."

When in the chase for the perfect man did LOVE become so programmed?

What ever happened to spending time with a man because you genuinely liked him as a person?

Whatever happened to just going with the flow – letting things happen naturally?

Calling when you feel the need to hear his voice not because the clock just went off.

Loving him mentally and physically because the juices are flowing and it all feels good.

I am silly I guess because I always thought love was supposed to be natural and delicious.

Slow and easy or fast and intense and maybe a little of both sometimes without the checklist from this months national magazine.

I thought it was supposed to be for the moment - the minute - the hour - the day and hopefully a lifetime.

Not programmed.

Not calculated.

Not so unnatural.

I have personally received letters from several women who shout out in happiness that as soon as she put the "list" in the trash and started working on "themselves" and accepting the fact that perfection will be found in heaven the weight she was carrying disappeared. All I say is what’s wrong with just enjoying life in a day-by-day manner?

I may be foolish but most men including me want love to just happen. Most men I talk to want love to be a minute-by-minute, day-by-day exercise. Men I know want to accept a woman for the way she is and that she expect the same from him.